


To live a normal life? How Pointless

by SiriusStarx



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Canon-Typical Violence, Does this count for a blood swap au?, Enemies to Lovers, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Half of my reasons for writing this are, Humans In Troll Romances (Homestuck), Humanstuck, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, John Egbert Angst, Misunderstandings, Multi, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, OOC, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Self-Harm, Superherostuck, also, but its on purpose, fanfics inside of fanfics, its needed tho, op god tiers, pesterlogs have mercy on my soul, rip auspistice, sorry if the writing feels off, spoilers in tags, that i actually got atleast a chapter of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriusStarx/pseuds/SiriusStarx
Summary: -==> Be RoseYou can not be Rose right now. She is sleeping.-==> Be VriskaYou can not be Vriska right now. She is sleeping.-==> Be AraneaYou can not be Aranea right now. She is sleeping.-==> Be DamaraYou can not be Damara right now. She is sleeping. You can be her later though.Is there anyone awake?-==> Be John
Relationships: Caliborn/Jake English, Caliborn/John Egbert, Damara Megido/Rufioh Nitram, Damara Megido/Rufioh Nitram (unrequited), I dont think that was a tag before?, Jake English/Karkat Vantas, Joey Claire/Xefros Tritoh, John Egbert/Dave Strider, John Egbert/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Karkat Vantas/Damara Megido, Kanaya Maryam/Vriska Serket, Nepeta Leijon/Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde/Feferi Peixes, Rufioh Nitram/Horuss Zahhak, Sollux Captor/Jane Crocker, Super Spoiler Tag;, Tavros Nitram/Karkat Vantas, The Disciple/The Signless | The Sufferer
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. -==> Wake up.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Live a Normal Life? How preposterous!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11470704) by [09Pyros_09Hydros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/09Pyros_09Hydros/pseuds/09Pyros_09Hydros). 



> I was re-reading the how to live series when i had a *horrible* idea.  
> Thankfully, unlike all my other wip fanfics, ive actually done enough of this one to actually post it.  
> i hope you enjoy this absolutely horrid thing.

-==> Be John

The first thing you notice is that you cannot feel the wind.

The only thing you can focus on is the lack of wind. Theres an overbearing emptyness in its place that feels much too similar to the void.

What happened? Where is everyone?

There is not even the slightest hint of breeze. Its strange. It's the first thing you notice because, it was just always there, in the back of your mind, and it was brought out full force upon ascension. But for the first time, you cannot feel it. Its wrong. You find it hard to focus on anything else.

Thats when the whole world bursts with  light. 

"Hey John, are you okay????????" Your twins uncharacteristically quiet voice, your mind tells you.

Wait twin?

You finally open your eyes. You are greeted by the most unholy sight ever.  
Vriska.  
Human Vriska.  
You scream.

"HOLY SHIT-" "John????????" "Vriska????" Oh. Looks like you've fallen off the bed. "John, what the hell. You fucking scared me." She says at the same time you say, "Gog, my head hurts like hell. Why's it so bright in here?" Is this why the trolls complained about the sun so much? It does kinda wanna make you crawl in a cave and live there. "John. all i did was open the fucking door. Your room was AND still is pretty fucking dark." Damn. You must be dying. Vriska sighs, "Dad told me to get your ass downstairs for breakfast." Dad. Dad? As in, your very much dead father? But before you can ask her, shes already out the door.

Damn. Looks like you're gonna have to go downstairs and see 'dad'.

Luckily a ping from your computer lets you put that off for a little longer. 

-==> Be Dave

turntechGodhead [TG]  opened PRIVATE memo The deets

turntechGodhead [TG]  invites  tipsyGnostic [TG]  to the memo 

turntechGodhead [TG]  invites  ghostlyTrickster [GT]  to the memo

turntechGodhead [TG]  invites  carcinoGenesis [CG]  to the memo

turntechGodhead [TG]  invites  golgoathsTerror [GT]  to the memo

TG: alright, we have alotta things to talk about.  
TG: first of all, i got a message from good old future me.  
TG: bad news as always guys.  
TG: future me handing em out like cheap cigars and its halloween.  
TG: fuck, im not even feeling it right now.  
TG: you kids get this sweet candy called disappointment this year.  
TG: youre holding out your halloween bag expecting the sweet reward of candy but as it turns out all this house decided to give out were a bunch of rasins.  
TG: you have been deprived of my rhymes and time and youre about to take revenge on the poor fool in the form of a recently toilet papered house. 

CG: HOLY SHIT STRIDER. CAN YOU STOP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING AND TELL US WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING  
CG: BECAUSE IF FUTURE YOU DIDN'T TELL YOU YET, IM FUCKING HUMAN NOW AND ABOUT TO LOSE MY SHIT.  
CG: ACTUALLY, IM ALREADY LOSING MY SHIT.  
CG: BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I WANT SOME FUCKING ANSWERS AS TO WHY IM HUMAN.  
CG: I FUCKING HATE THIS. IM STUCK IN SOME WEIRD SQUISHY HUMAN BODY.  
CG: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?  
CG: ITS ABSOLUTELY REVOLTING.  


TG: okay yeah, ill get to the point.  
TG: we're the only ones who remember the game.  
TG: strap on tight because guess what else's happened.  
TG: we've been placed right in the middle of a life we didn't live until now.  
TG: like with families and all that shit.  
TG: also, like all the trolls are human too.  
TG: thats pretty important. 

TG: wait what.  


TG: yeah. not just that but like, apparently vriskas dancestor or whatever is my sister.  


GT: vriska was in my room.  
GT: she came in to get me for dinner with dad.  
GT: oh geez, my chumhandles GT again.  
GT: bluh. that looks so weird.  


GT: Oh. That would help explain why me and roxy woke up here. 

TG: yeah, we kinda woke up in this weird house.  
TG: wait a minute we got familyes rite?  
TG: i need to check somethin.  
TG: holy shit.  
TG: this has got TO BE THE GREATEST THIN EVER.  
TG: moms my, well MOM.  


GT: Or our mom now, to be specific.  


TG: yeah! shes downstaris makinn dinner!  
TG: ooooo spaggetit  
TG: *spaghetti  
TG: if moms here then can rosie meet herself?  
TG: :0 two moms. 

CG: OH FUCK.  
CG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.  
CG: THERES *TWO* ADULTS IN MY HIVE.  
CG: FUCKING HELL.  
CG: THERE'S NO WAY IM STAYING HERE.  
CG: I FUCKING REFUSE.  
CG: GOG WHY DID I HAVE TO END UP HERE. 

GT: Karkat, are you alright? You seem really distressed about this whole ordeal.  


CG: NO SHIT REALLY? IM DOING ABSOLUTELY *WONDERFUL* AFTER SPONTANEOUSLY CHANGING RACES AND BEING PUT IN THIS GOG AWFUL PLACE. WHY WOULDN'T I!  
CG: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, LOOKS LIKE I CAN MAKE A WHOLE LIST OF EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH THIS.  
CG: WARNING: ITS GOING TO TAKE OVER AN HOUR TO READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING.  


TG: hey, give lil jakey some peace.  
TG: he was just showing concern. :(  


GT: Its quite alright roxy.  
GT: I understand that becoming unfamiliar with your own body must be very stressful.  


CG: SHUT UP.  
CG: I DONT WANT YOUR SHITTY HUMAN KNOCKOFF PALE FEELINGS.  
CG: I'LL DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF.  


GT: Erm, thats a troll romance term, correct?  


TG: *silently takes out a shingging chaet*  
TG: *shipping chart  


TG: can we stop this before we get the shipping charts out 'cause we still got more shit to talk about.

GT: Oh. What else did future dave tell you when he visited?  


TG: well, thats the last thing.  
TG: he didn't.  
TG: actually, future dave never left the future.  
TG: he wrote a note and left it on the table like a child would leave cookies while waiting for santa claus to come down the chimney.  
TG: but i still saw it.  
TG: im a seer now.  
TG: its actually pretty fucking weird.  


TG: wait what.  
TG: :0  
TG: you need to see thid!  
TG: jakes outfit changed!!  
TG: its purle now!!!  
TG: *purple  


GT: Im still in my page outfit, though its been changed to some other aspect.  
GT: *Inspects my new outfit nervously*  
GT: You're really a seer now. And im now whatever this is? How is this even possible?  


TG: yeah, im no longer a knight.  
TG: and i have no idea how.  


CG: THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN FOR THE REST OF US?  
CG: HAVE WE ALL CHANGED OUR CLASSPECTS?  


TG: just change into your god tier clothes dude.  


GT: Pardon me but, which aspect is purple again?  


TG: rage.  


CG: GOG DAMN IT. OF COURSE IM STILL A KNIGHT OF BLOOD.  
CG: JUST ABOUT THE WORST CLASSPECT EVER.  


TG: thankfully i can still say im a rogue of void.  
TG: do you think everyone elses classpects have also changed?  


GT: And on another note, where even is everyone else?  


CG: WHILE WE'RE ON THE FRESH TOPIC OF MISSING FRIENDS, IS IT JUST ME OR HAS EGBERT BEEN AWFULLY QUIET.  


TG: shit.  
TG: hey, john? you doing good there?  
TG: john?  


GT: im gonna go have breakfast.  


ghostlyTrickster [GT]  left the memo

CG: SHIT HE'S DYING.  


GT: That does not sound good. 

TG: wait, what are we supposed to do now?  
TG: do all of us have our parents now?  
TG: and is everyones alive?  
GT: Perhaps it would be better to find a place to meet up and discuss this further.  


TG: probably.  
TG: im going to find john. 

turntechGodhead [TG]  left the memo

CG: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?  
CG: I KNOW JACKSHIT ABOUT BEING A HUMAN.  
CG: NOT TO MENTION THERES ADULTS IN MY HIVE  
CG: I FUCKING NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.  


GT: Me and roxy can come over to get you karkat.  
GT: I know we don't really know each other but we're not going to leave a friend hanging! 

CG: ILL SEND MY COORDINATES THEN. 

TG: well be seein you soon karkit!

tipsyGnostic [TG]  left the memo

GT: Dont worry! Well be there in a jiffy! 

CG: SEE YA THEN.

carcinoGenesis [CG]  left the memo

golgothasTerror [GT]  left the memo

It's only after you close out of the memo you realize that John's having breakfast with his family. Which leaves you with alot of time until you can actually talk to John.

You would fuck around and catch up on this new Earth's meme culture, but you're starving. Getting off the bed you switch to your normal clothes, and mentally prepare yourself to raid the fridge and hopefully bolt out of there before your new family can spot you.

Of course nothing could ever be that easy. Upon entering the kitchen and stopping infront of a member of said family, you are reminded normal families eat breakfast together. In the morning. Now forcing you to socialize with them so they dont notice somethings wrong. Great.

"Why, hello brother." Aranea. Shes blond now, her hair almost as white as yours and her eyes are actually normal, an uncommon but acceptable light blue. Aside from that, she looks pretty much the same. Knee length socks and pointy glasses paired with a spider web designed mini dress that had her sign stitched on top. You note that she still wears her cancer necklace.

While stuffing grilled chese into your mouth stolen from the plate infront of Aranea, you realize Bro's not actually here. "hey, sis. wheres bro? shouldn't he be here?" Was that the wrong question to ask? Families did spend time in the mornings together right? Great, you were already starting to second guess yourself. "Oh, he had to go to the club early today. Apparently some of the crew had dropped important equipment that was for the show so they may end up delaying it." "damn, you'd think they'd be more careful for some kind of big shot dj but thats like, what, the 3rd time it's happened this month?" Lucky dave. Your past self kept a goddam diary. What a tool. Literally and as an insult. Too bad he didn't write about stuff like his opinions on every conceivable topic possible. You'll just wing it from there. You hope nobodys pissed off at you and you can't remember why.

You should probably tell everyone to check for diarys. Eh, you'll do that later.

Stuffing the last of the grilled cheese into your mouth the two of you sit in awkward silence. The sound of the ticking clock almost lost in it. She stares at you. Wait. What else are you supposed to say to her? Shit. You're barely holding even the casual cool kid act together. I swear if she asks a question-

"So brother, whats with the shades so early? Its barely even bright outside." Double shit. This is the kind of stuff the diary should've warned you about. Shes way too attentive. You're trying to come up with an answer when suddenly-

Nine ò clock.

Its just as you turn to face the window the ground starts to shake and the sound of falling objects surround the two of you. You both rush to the window to see whats happening, and a distant roar from an unknown beast fills the air as the sky outside quickly begins to darken.

Exactly at 9:00 AM is when the world sees denizens for the the first time.  
It's 9:00 AM when several soon-to-be superheros are faced with their first battle in a new world.  
And its at 9:00 AM when a denizen crashes through the left wall of the kitchen and infront of a pair of siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, this fic is To live a normal live? How preposterous, but when entering this new universe and their new lives, something goes wrong. Everyones class or aspect (or both) have been shuffled with a few exceptions. Vriska being one of said exceptions because when i spun a wheel to pick their new familys and names, she managed to land on her regular name. So she gets to keep her classpect as a treat :3.
> 
> Also for anyone who finds my monstrosity, what do you think about equius being the new heir of breath for johnny angst points?


	2. -==> Read about an exciting battle, but dont actually.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -==> Read about the battle against the denizens
> 
> No sir'ee, you've gotta go through a few more chapters before you can do that.
> 
> -==> Be Damara
> 
> Its not quite time to be her yet. Though it never will be time since thats no longer her aspect.
> 
> -==> Be past Dave
> 
> Now thats more like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah, cant believe its been a whole year since ive posted a chapter :3

-==> Be Past Dave

God, your head is killing you. 

Where are you?

Getting up from your(?) bed, you take in the strange surroundings. You're on a decently sized mattress with bright red sheets and fluffy pillows, the walls are covered in hung up photographs of landscapes which are usually accompanied by several types of birds flying in the photos, there's clothing strewn about the room, with most of them having landed on a few chairs, a shining sword rack to the side, and a turned on shade lamp sitting in the corner alongside some familiar looking turntables. You move around and to your suprise the beds actually pretty nice and soft. You wouldn't mind sleeping on it for a couple more hours, but you've gotta figure out where the hell you are before you can relax.

Checking your internal clock shows you you've been asleep for a whole 8 hours, a pretty healthy amount. Something must really be wrong.

You're starting to get up when you suddenly see something. 

There it is again.

Its like passing light, reflecting off of glass and straight into your minds eye.

You try to focus on it, but it seems to hide away every time you try to catch sight of it. 

So you chose to not focus on it, instead letting it drift into your view on its own.

You can feel it drift across your awareness, threatening to retreat back into the void, but as the minutes pass it finally seems at peace to land in front of your eyes. Spreading its wings, it fully consumes your view of the surrounding area, almost shocking you enough to scare it away again. Thankfully, you manage to keep your calm, and let something else shimmer into view.

Yeah. This beats time travel by a longshot.

Exactly 3 minutes pass.

You shake your head, though it doesn't make the vision disappear faster, and open your computer to start a memo.

-==> Be Past Karkat

You slowly open your eyes.

You've got no idea where you are.  
You're currently surrounded by fluffy, slightly scratchy material on all sides. You hear no movement in the room you're currently in but you can feel the sunli... 

OH GOD THERES SUNLIGHT ON YOU.

You proceed to absolutely flip your shit the moment you process that you can feel the sunlight. Screaming, the flailing of limbs, all the things that would make this scene hilarious if it could be portrayed in comic or television form. Sadly this scene will only be witnessed by yourself in person so theres no way anybody else, reading this in text form or otherwise, would ever find out about it.

You will still proceed to flip your shit even after calming down and realizing you are not burning up, because when you inspect your skin to see if theres any burns, you can clearly see your skin has been turned extremely pale, slightly furry and definitely too soft to be healthy troll skin.

You only realize you've been turned human after you've spent so long flipping your shit, you've exhausted the entire galaxys supply of shits made for flipping. You're almost about to start on the universes supply when two knocks sound from your door. From the small opening underneath a note slips into your room.

"( =¿~¿=) HEY KARCAT? ARE YOU OKAY? MOM AND DAD HEARD SCR33MING FROM YOUR ROOM AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY. YOUR DOORS LOCKED SO I SLIPPED YOU A NOTE. I CAN DROP THE QUIRK IF YOU'RE NOT FELINE IT TODAY."

You search your mind trying to figure out who this could be. Judging by the quirk its probably Nepetas dancestor, that deaf troll Meenah once mentioned, though you never meet her. Mewlyn? Mwerin? Merlyn? Wait, its Meulin! Your stepsister, how could you forget something like that? Not that you know what the hell a stepsister is.

Sister. You can recall that its a human term Dave used to refer to Rose. Similar to a hatchmate. Stepsister must be that but with a twist. But what could it mean? And how is Meulin one?

Then theres the conundrum of 'Mom' and 'dad'. More human familial terms. Why does she keep using them? Who the fuck are 'Mom' and 'Dad'?

When she knocks two more times you remember shes still waiting for a reply. You slip the note back under the door after writing your response.

"YEAH, IM STILL ALIVE. JUST HAD A BAD TIME WAKING UP. HIT MY HEAD ON SOMETHING."

From under the door your response arrives quickly. "(=^0_0^=) OKAY. BUT IF THERES ANY MORE SCR33MING IM COMING IN THERE. PURREASE DONT WORRY US LIKE THAT."

Just what the hell is going on?

Thankfully, a helpful chime from a nearby human laptop signals that a memo has been created. You click on it hoping for some answers.

-==> Be the Past Pyrope Siblings.

You cannot be the Pyrope Siblings, last you heard the Pyrope name belonged to the teal ladies. And last you checked, trolls don't have siblings. Instead you will remain you! The one and only Jake English! Roxy promply informs you your name isn't Jake English.

"Wait, hold on. You must be trying to pull my leg here, i doubt that my names gone and taken a sudden change without my permission!" Roxy shakes her head. "soryy jakie, were both a pyrope now." Roxys leaning on the door to the room you woke up in. Her frazzled hair and tired look makes you think she might be hungover. "Well thats surely impossible! How would we change our names? And what about the actual pyrope girls?" "dont now. just kinda woke up here with weird memories, and i guess they say were pyropes. what about u? can u rembr anythin." "Unfortunately, no. Ive gotten no clue about whats going on." "its alrite. We gotta dig for stuffs, since alotta my meories rn r fuzzie." " Er, roxy, i dont know where we are right now, do youve an idea? I only just got up, and i havent got the faintest clue whats going on while youre rambling about a name change." "sorry but im not sure either, i jvst woke up few mins ago in a pretty nice room. im gonna go to try to find out where we r." 

Its as she stumbles out the door and pulls a bottle out from her sylladex, a small chime sounds from the corner of the room.

"whats that?" You both turn to the offending corner. "Im not sure, though it just sounded like a laptop. Let me see if i can find it." After rummaging through blankets and clothing strewn about, you manage to find the laptop. Roxy quickly lands next to you as you open it up and click on the newest memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters feel pretty nice when i'm writing them but by the time i'm uploading them they feel so short. :/


	3. -==> Author, swear you had a good title ready but forgot it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -==> Read about the Denizen battle.
> 
> Not quite yet. Theres still a bit more to go over before we get there.
> 
> -==> Be John after the memo.
> 
> Yes! Its about time we checked on good ol' Johnny. He didn't exactly sound too good during the memo. We should see what hes up to.

-==> Be John after the memo. 

You've been staring at the screen so long your eyes hurt. 

You... really dont know what to make of this. You're currently sitting down in your new godtier jammies, and though they're so similar to before, they just aren't the same. Instead of the brilliant blue you had wore proudly before, you're wearing the bright yellow of light players. Even though the only thing thats changed is the color becoming yellow and the end of the ridiculously long hood becoming curved, it feels like you're wearing an entirely new skin. One that isn't meant to be yours. Heir of Light just doesn't feel as comfy as being the Heir of Breath.

When you see your name come up on the screen, you realize you never left the memo. They're wondering why you stopped responding. Thats right, you completely forgot the world is still gonna run despite your little freakout over color. It's not like paradox space is just gonna stop existence so you can throw a tantrum about a curly hood, besides everyone else is also dealing with this stuff, and Karkats probably got it even worse since he's a human now. You might need to check him later actually. You make a mental note to do so.

Of course, theres also your family who are waiting downstairs. Yeah, thats still a thing. You're gonna be so fucked. Are you just supposed to pretend nothings changed? Even when everything has?

Though, it might not be so bad. You've got a whole family now! Dads alive again and you and Vriska were already really close. You get to hang out with everyone from the get go and everyone seems to be alive! You just got a second chance at life, theres no way you can just waste it!

More determined than before, you give a quick response without putting much thought in and shut your laptop off. After quickly switching to normal clothes found in the closet you skip the stairs entirely and run into the kitchen with the excitement of a hundred puppys, because goddamn it, you've got a family breakfast to attend!

Theres alot you dont know right now. You don't know why you've changed aspects, or why only a handful of you remember the game, but you do know one thing. You're John Serket the Heir of br- Light and you've gotta seize the day!

Apon your arrival dad and Vriska greet you as if they did it every morning, and the three of you happily sit down to eat the overly sugary confection your dad made known as pancakes with syrup, whipped cream, chocolate chips, strawberries, caramel drizzle and way too many sprinkles to be healthy. All of it made with the same love and care you had missed. 

Too bad you wont have time to finish the breakfast, as a rift in reality itself starts to open in the nearby neighborhood.

-==>Continue the trend and become Karkat after the memo.

Oh god. Thank fuck Roxy and Jake are coming to get you. You don't know if you could spend much longer here without going into a panic attack. You should've known when Meulin mentioned 'Mom' and 'dad' adults would be nearby. Shit do you have to live with these people? Two adults. None of the others mentioned more than one adult, and with your luck, you're probably the only one who got lumped with an extra one. If you didn't already know the universe platonically hates your guts, you'd know it now.

You've been pacing around the room so much you're starting to get dizzy. You need to busy yourself with something, maybe let out some of the stress. You move to sit on the bed but-- oh. Look at that. You've fallen and you can't get up. Now your back hurts. Great job Karkat.

What can you do to pass the time? Theres absolutely no way you're going back outside your room, and you have to stay at the house so they can find you. You decide to get up and sit yourself on the bed. Once that's done you open your computer to pretend you're doing something useful, and since you never exited pesterchum, the computer opens up where you left off, showing in all of its glory a list of chumhandles you had apparently aquired. Your inability to recognize even half of them is worrying. They sit there, taunting you with colorful words that supposedly belong to your friends, the ones you don't even know.

CuttlefishCuller [CC]  


CaligulasAquarium [CA]  


CaballusTechocrat [CT]  


ApocalypseArisen [AA]  


AberrantAssassin [AA]  


TimaeusTestified [TT]  


GamegirlCabalerial [GC]  


JustifiedGrievances [JG]  


ClandestineObserver [CO]  


TwinArmageddons [TA]  


ImperialsBane [IB]  


AdvancingDawn [AD]  


AdiosToreador [AT]  


TerminallyCapricious [TC]  


GallowsCalibrator [GC]  


MauledRaptor [MR]  


ArsenicCatnip [AC]  


CasanovaAqueduct [CA]  


AmusingCalico [AC]

Yeah, you're just gonna assume the ones you don't recognize are dancestors. 

You rake your hands through your hair. All the waiting is only making you more anxious, and all you can do is hope that those two arrive soon.

-==> Pyrope Siblings, arrive.

You turn off the laptop while Jake enters the coordinates into his phone, helpfully giving him Karkats location. The two of you stealthily and quickly exit the house via window, wordlessly heading to Karkat. You're using the time you've got to process all the information, and you think Jakes also using it to take the news in. 

Its strange. You'd accepted you'd never meet mom as mom, only as Rose. That was fine, she was still mom, and it made the figure you had always looked up to feel more human. She's fun and nice to talk to. But, now you're meeting mom as mom, and its _still_ not the same. Its mom, but still from another setting, another life, maybe with another personality entirely.

Honestly, it's a little disappointing.

What even is your relationship with Rose in this world? What about Dirk? Or everybody else? You stop flying for a moment. 

Do you even know them?

"Roxy? Are you okay?" He looks worried. You just kinda stare at him for a bit, trying to calm yourself. His purple outfit is still just as distracting as his old one. It's while ile you're staring at him you realize even with their memories of the game, they're not entirely the same. 

New godteirs. Huh.

"yeah im altight just thinkin bout all of dis." He gives a gentle sigh. "Alright, just.. know were here for you. Were going to get through this together." "yeah we are. dont worry so much bout it jakie, gotta kep goin n hope we cana do fhis right. we shoulda get movin anyways, we cnt keep karkits waitin." "Alright. Though maybe we can go for a strife later? Or maybe just for for a hike? Might help get some of it out of our systems." "yeah, soungs p good."

The two of you continue flying, the silence just a bit more comfortable

........

When you reach Karkats humble abode, Jake texts him to look outside his window while you go on the lookout for him.

After circling around the house for a little bit you spot an open window and swoop down to greet someone whos hopefully Karkat. He's incredibly short, skinny, and pale with spiky jet black hair, a cancer sweater and unnatural bright red eyes. Even without being told what he looks like as a human, its unmistakably Karkat. You cheerfully greet him. "heyy, u karkat right?" "NO. IM JUST A RANDOM HUMAN WHO HAPPENS TO LOOK LIKE KARKAT AND DECIDED TO OPEN HIS WINDOW JUST AS YOU FLEW TO HIS HOUSE WHICH JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE WHERE THE COORDINATES KARKAT GAVE YOU LEAD." You stare at him. "OF FUCKING COURSE IM KARKAT. YOU TWO GET IN HERE BEFORE SOME NOSY FUCKER SPOTS YOU." "Its nice to see you too chum!" Jake cheerfully states from behind you. Karkat simply grumbles in response.

You were already inside the room with Jake starting to climb through the window when the sky suddenly darkened and the ground shook, causing Jake to slip while Karkat barely managed catch him. The three of you watch from the room as you see a line in the distant sky start to form, cracking the space around around it until it opens up to reveal a dark abyss. You wait in silence for something to happen for you can feel something powerful fill the air. A deafening roar sounds as four denizens surrounded by an army of imps spill from the fracture.

"What the bloody fuck is that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! The list of who knows who has finally been revealed! For Mituna i tried to give him a cool handle but my brain said d i n o s a u r
> 
> There ended up being being some cool coincidences when i spun the wheel, such as hic being a vantas, two of our three resident anime lovers being siblings (Dirk and Damara), and of course a leijon and vantas being siblings. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have the Signless and Disciple together, they deserve it.


	4. -==> Finally read the battle chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -==> Finally read about the battle against the denizens
> 
> I know you're excited to finally read about it after a whole month, but hold your horses because i've got a suprise coming!
> 
> Now that introductions are out of the way, you can now be the reader, and read the rest of the fic in third person!  
>  **Reader has unlocked: Third person!** 🎉
> 
> -==> Be MSPA Reader
> 
> You pass by a ne-- No! Not that reader! Be other kind of reader! 
> 
> -==> Be the other kind of reader, and properly fulfill your title of reader regarding the Denizen battle.
> 
> The reader (yes that refers to you) decides to scroll just a little further and read about the debut of the new superheros while remaining strictly outside the narrative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, i have no idea how to write a fight scene so, we got this instead.

Its a wild day full of speculation. Cultists are praising the end of the world, scientists are baffled, civilians left in complete shock, with governments trying to grasp control of the situation, and anime lovers everywhere rejoicing as their wishes of magic have finally become a reality.

All accounts begin similarly, people are going about their daily tasks around the small neighborhood, taking out trash, washing the dishes, perhaps walking the dog, when all of a sudden cracks form in the sky. A portal to the abyss itself forms and beasts of great power and size spill out to wreck havoc upon the world. Thankfully, five masked vigilantes appear to save the day.

The first to arrive is the hero soon to be known as Time.

...

Dave grabs Araneas arm and starts a mad dash out of the kitchen. Soon after they exit they pass by the living room, and Aranea enters briefly to reappear with a sword in tow. "I got one of bro's swords. We finally have some use for them."

Dave's about to take a gamble to hopefully find a door that leads to the backyard, but Aranea stops in her tracks when through the window she spots someone in bright red climbing the beast which had stormed through their kitchen. "Holy- Dave, are you seeing this?" "The giant fucking denizen in the house?" She grabs the sleeve of his shirt and gets him to stop. "No- well yes. But look, someones ON it." Dave looks around to find his future self weilding Caledfwlch, hooded and in his new seer garbs, climbing the denizen and leaving a trail of slashes behind him. "Oh." As it turns out, being a seer doesn't exempt you from time travel. Figures.

"We need to get going again. Maybe we can hide outside of town while the strange beasts are here. Perhaps policemen have arrived and we can seek shelter from them." She pulls dave along without waiting for his agreement. The two of them run through the large house and start heading towards the back door, to then hopefully escape from the house and flee to a nearby safe area. While Aranea drags him there, Dave is trying to figure out when he's supposed to become the other him. As a seer he can no longer naturally feel the start of a time loop, only what happens. It's worring that he might have to guess. It could be easier to mess up. A single step not taken, a turn taken but at the wrong place, or a pie left too long in the oven. It'll be done, but who knows if its done right.

Of course, future Dave always has his back. Aranea and Dave are aimlessly running through the streets when Future Dave knocks the denizen into a nearby building causing large parts of it to collapse and separate the two. Aranea calls out to Dave, "Dave! Please be okay over there." "hey- don't worry i'm fine. the rubbles blocking the street and it's too big to climb over. just keep going and i'll catch up alright sis?" "Goddamn it Dave." A sword flys over the rubble landing itself infront of him. "Take it. You better not be injured when we meet up." She quickly turns to flee, hoping he'll be fine. Even though Dave doesn't need the sword, it manages to make him smile just a little bit. "... thanks sis." 

He disappears in a flash, and ready to fight.

...

The heros later known as Blood, Void, and Rage are next to arrive.

"ARE THOSE FUCKING DENIZENS" Karkat, Roxy, and Jake stand infront of the window, staring at the rift in the sky. "howe shit. thats a fuckin hole in the sky" They watch as denizens and imps alike spill out and as the denizens strangely start to mindlessly attack citizens and buildings. "WHAT THE HELL. WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING US?" "Who cares! We have to get out there. Whatever reason they may have, they're still attacking innocent people."

"shitz jakes rite. come one karkitz we gotta go." As Roxy speaks, shes already headed out the window and flying towards the nearest denizen. "WAIT ROXY, WHAT IF THEY SEE YOU? WE'RE BARELY A DAY INTO THIS WORLD AND I DON'T WANT TO BE HUNTED DOWN BY THE HUMANS MULTIPLE GOVERNMENTS." Roxy pauses for only a second, when Jake chimes in. "We could be superheros! It would be the goddamn bees knees if we got to be like Iron Man or Captain America, with secret identities and whatnot." In response Roxy gives a flick of her hand and a mask that surrounds her eyes appears on her face. "iz a good thin my outfit comes with a mak then." "Erm, i dont think our godteirs come with any of the sort." After a breif pause Karkat too, summons a mask on his face. "YOU DO KNOW YOUR GODTEIR IS CUSTOMIZABLE, RIGHT?" "Oh." 

Jake stands for a while, until his whole outfit has changed. Tights that complement his legs, shorts to go with them, the regular page shirt, short boots, and a eye mask all dyed the purple of rage replace his former page outfit. He admires his spiffy new outfit for a while. "Well then chums, i believe it is time to fight those denizens now."

Roxy is the first to start moving again while Karkat and Jake are quick to follow suit, climbing through the window and following the path of destruction to different denizens. 

...

The last to arrive will be known as Light.

"John! You need to see this!" Vriskas sudden outburst out of place at the calm dinner table. Shes holding her phone and is turned to John, "Vriska, i thought we talked about no phones while eating." "I mean, yeah dad but, Kanaya texted me and its really important! Look!" She shoves her phone to the middle of the table for the other two to see.

On screen it shows a chat between her and Kanaya.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

GA: Vriska, I Would Recommend Turning On The News.  
GA: I Can See Strange Animals Outside.  
GA: Not That They Can Really Be Called Animals.  
AG: Ack, you caught me at a bad time!  
AG: W8. 8ad time. Since you guys insisted on the quirks.  
AG: Anyways, i'm kinda eating dinner right now soooooooo.  
AG: W8, what do you mean 8y strange animals????????  
GA: I Can See Strange Looking Beasts Outside My Window. They Dont Appear To Be Any Sort Of Recognizable Animal.  
GA: Actually, They Look More Akin To Enemies From A Video Game.  
GA: StrangeThingsOutside.jpg  
AG: What ARE those????????  
AG: I guess they do kinda look like videogame enemies.  
GA:  
AG: Kanaya?  
AG: Hello????????  
AG: Kanaya, are you still there?  
AG: Did your battery die or something?  
AG: Shit are you okay????????  
AG: RESPOND!!!!!!!!  
AG: KANAYA????  
GA: I'm Alright.  
AG: What the fuck happened?????  
GA: One Of Those... Things Got Inside.  
GA: You're Not Gonna Believe This But,  
GA: Someone In A Red Cape And Outfit Took Care Of It.  
GA: When Defeated It Turned Into Some Weird Gushers Looking Material.  
AG: Liiiikkkkeeee a VIDEOGAME????????  
GA: Yes, Just Like A Videogame.  
GA: It Seems I Was Correct Earlier In Associating Their Appearance To Videogame Enemies.  
AG: W8, what if that guy who saved you is like the main character????????  
GA: That Would Imply We Are Npcs.  
AG: Damn.  
AG: I wanted to 8e the hero ::::((((  
GA: You Could Always Be A Supporting Character.  
GA: Or The Hero Of Our Story. ;)  
AG: Awwww. Thanks for the encouragement, but it's fine.  
AG: ;;;;))))  
AG: Okay, do i HAVE to use my quirk for the smiley face????????  
AG: 8ecause that just looks really weird.  
GA: An Acception Has Been Bestowed.  
GA: May Your Smiley Faces Be Free Of The Eight Fold Curse.  
AG: Thanks. :)  
GA: Look, I Found Someone Whos Streaming The Event Right Now.  
GA:Twitch.com/guywhostreamsduringtheapocalypse/stream?  
AG: That's a pretty fitting name.  
GA: I Believe It Would Not Be Farfetched To Assume They Are Streaming For The Sole Purpose Of Fufilling Their Name.  
AG: Honestly, i bet that's true.  
AG: I know i would.  
GA: It Seems People Like Him Are Already Taking Full Advantage Of This Event.  
GA: On Edock Apocalypse Survival Kits Are Selling Out Fast.  
AG: Seriously????  
AG: This isn't an apocalypse.  
AG: It's clearly anime.  
GA: It Could Be Set In A Post Apocalypse World.  
AG: Yeah but those usually involve time travel so the world doesn't actually end.  
AG: I so gotta show this to John though.  
GA: Alright, I'm Going To Check On The Lalondes. They Live Nearby So They May Also Be Effected.  
GA: Stay Safe Vriska. <3  
AG: You too <3 <3 <3 <3

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] Ceased pestering  arachnidsGrip [AG]

Embarrassed at having forgotten that the last bit of their conversation would be shown, she quickly switches to news outlets containing articles and live reporters documenting the rift. "See? Something weirds going on. Look even the news is going wild about it."

And true to her word, newsites were already going absolutely bonkers. And so was John.

He should be out there. Yeah seeing his dad again is nice and all, but he should be fighting with his team. There was only five people in the entire world fit to take care of the underlings and he was their leader! But how could he go without raising suspicion?

Dave! "Yeah, Dave might be in the midst of it if he's home." Damn. "did i say that out loud?" "Yeah, you did." A small pause. "Say, that sounds awfully suspicious. Someone seems veeeeeeeery worried about Dave." "yeah, why wouldn't i be worried about him?" "Hm." Vriska gets up and starts pushing John away a little. "Just go and check on him okay? ; )" "erm, okay?" John turns around and heads up the stairs, slightly hesitant but encouraged by the weird look Vriska keep giving him. As he leaves he hears dad muttering something vague about growing up.

...That was strange. Thats not normal for this world right?

He thought Dave would know when he got an opportunity to get away, or that Dave could use time travel so he could fight when they weren't around, but it seems like that wasn't needed. Though, Dave still did technically help him out.

Changing into his godteir uniform, he takes a moment to figure out how to become the light. It feels so different. When he turned into the wind he could feel himself disperse. Feel his being unravel and fly, becoming the wind that exists all over earth, shaping the sand and helping make canyons.

Now he feels himself becoming compact. Turning into nothing more than a few pinpricks of light. The light that shines onto all, blinds the unfortunate, and provides heat to the world. The same light that shuns those it frowns upon into darkness. John quickly realizes just how fast light is. He might not even need teleportation with how fast he's become.

With not a glace back, he heads through the window and flys towards the nearest denizen.

...

"hey! whats up dave? :B" Dave and John attack the same winged denizen, Dave attacking from the top while the other surrounds the sides in an attempt to bring the enemy to the ground. "oh nothing much. been jogging around a little ya know? gotta get those miles in. i also got a sick new toaster, just might indulge in that Hello Kitty silverware set, who knows. fighting some denizens right now but thats not important, especially with that nonexistent report card coming up." John snickers a little. "by the way, Karkat wants us to wear masks. doesn't want to be turned into some weird government experiment and i can't blame him." ":0 like superheros! hell yeah!" A bright yellow mask appears on his face at the same time Dave manages to push the denizen closer to the floor. "yeah, the kind that save damsels in distress all day long. look at all those damsels. look at them John. look at them. bare witness to their distress, John. are you gonna be the one true spandex wearing superhero to save them all? thats exactly enough distress to bring the end of all things, which causes more distress. look down the infinite rabbit hole of the damsels. only you can save them all." "pfft. are you considered one of them?" "maybe. if the distress becomes so concentrated that it becomes a black hole of distress, banishing all calming things to the void. oh no. its already happened, look what you've done. you could've avoided that. now everyones a damsel and theres no superpowered heros to save them. there they go, eg- uh yeah." 

John is fiddling with his powers, and doesn't notice Dave almost using Egbert. After a few short moments he finally figures out how to make barriers of light, stopping the denizen in its tracks and burning them on contact. ":p you were definitely already a damsel." "then you'll just have to be my dear prince charming ;)" "hehe, does that involve a curse that can oooonnnnly be cursed by a kiss ;)"

As if to interrupt their flirting, because they're in the middle of a fight, one of the other denizens fly by, barely missing them. When the denizen lands it causes some arriving reporters to change their path to find a different place to camp out. 

Karkat arrives, after having almost thrown his denizen into the others. "JEGUS FUCKING CHRIST, YOU'D THINK THEY'D HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE BUT OF COURSE THEY HEAD STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE DANGER." "that's the media alright. just like vultures. except sometimes they kill the prey themselves." " THANKS FOR THE REASSURANCE DAVE. I TOTALLY FEEL ALOT BETTER ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF THEM TRYING TO HUNT US DOWN. I KNOW WE'RE IN DISGUISES AND MY HUMAN SELF PROBABLY DIDN'T GARNER MUCH ATTENTION, BUT WITH THEM AROUND I KEEP FEELING LIKE THEY'RE GONNA FIND ME OR SOMETHING WHEN THIS IS OVER." "yeah, but thats what the masks are for. to conceal our identitys." From the background Jake shouts. "We could always have superhero names so we don't giveaway our actual names! Im sure thatd help!" From far below Roxy shouts while handling her denizen and a few left over imps. "i thfink jake just wants the enjtre supgerhiro package." "Shush im helping. Being a superhero is just a benefit."

John takes a fly around to take stock of the denizens they've gathered. The three of them lash out when ever he gets close, only for him to block the attack with a barrier of light. They look to be almost done, though they still need the missing denizen that Roxy took.

She seems to be having trouble with her denizen, who keeps going in every direction except towards the group. Jake, who had already finished with corralling his denizen towards the others, draws the attention of the denizen with well placed close ranged attacks, luring it back towards the group, aided by warding gunfire from Roxy.

The denizens below are attempting to get away, only to be faced with harsh barrier of blood and light from the two leaders and a constant ambush of bullets. All the while Dave is on the ground keeping reporters away from the fight, along with keeping an extra eye on the denizens from below.

"WE SHOULD WRAP THIS UP. THIS IS TAKING WAY TO LONG FOR FIVE FUCKING GODTEIRS." "Well, what do you have in mind chum?" "oh-oh! we could finish this off with a five person fray motif!" "helll yeah. lets fuckjn do this." "we're doing this man. we're making this happen."

The five of them gather into a floating circle around the grouped denizens from above. A barely detectable song begins to play from nowhere and the team start waving their hands, to the confusion of any and all onlookers. Lights start to surround them reaching up into the sky, as beams of what is assumed to be pure magic decend upon them, starting from their individual colors at the top and mixing into a single one at the bottom. The song grows louder as they continue, along with the symbols of their aspects appearing behind them. 

Eventually the lights dim and disappear, their insignias along with them. When it clears, the denizens are nowhere to be found, and a strange gushers looking material as been left in their places.

"guys, its grist!" "people are gonna try to steal some, better make this quick." They quickly gather the grist, as true to Daves word, reporters are taking this time to get closer to them while civilians and the few extra curious cops try to secure grist for themselves.

"hell. this is going by way to fast. i barely got here and we just defeated the denizens. can't they give us space?" "NO OFFENSE JOHN, BUT YOU KINDA CAME IN THE END OF THE BATTLE. AND I GUESS IT'S REASONABLE THEY WOULD TRY TO GET ANSWERS FROM US, DOESN'T MAKE THEM LESSER ASSHOLES THOUGH. BUT TRYING TO GET GRIST WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW IF ITS DANGEROUS OR NOT IS JUST IDIOTIC." "oh yeah." "jegus fucking christ some of these guys are trying to hide the grist now." "i think i can blind them, then maybe you can get close enough to the grist?" "yup. go for it." Flying above the citizens below, John bathes the area in light to create a distraction for Dave. Dave quickly singles out those looking suspicious, using a bit of time travel to speed up the process to find their stolen grist.

Done searching the crowd Dave quickly rejoins the others. "SHIT I THINK THAT MADE THEM ANGRY." "id say its tim to run." "YEAH, LIKE FUCK IM STICKING AROUND. SEE YA." Karkat dissolves into blood that quickly darts away. "well, see yea. but we still got alot more to discuss about all this." "Got it!" "alll rite. me n jake gonna go back home." Dave disappears with the sound of a clock. Jake and Roxy disappear soon after him, Roxy simply fading from the world while jake teleports in a more grand display of purple sparks. John wordlessly zips home, wondering what would be next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 3000 words in a single chapter! I feel like im getting the hang of this!
> 
> In other news, i got an offer to move me to more advanced classes, so it may end up slowing down chapters. But, i will try my best!


	5. -==> Continue the story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -==> Continue being the reader 
> 
> Of course, after all there is nobody else to be.
> 
> You pick up your phone, holding it up with glee as you spot the newest update of a fanfic you had started to follow recently.
> 
> It's been a slow updater, and there was a longer pause between the last update and this one, but something tells you the author is determined to try harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! My motivation kinda kept running from me.  
> On the bright side, this chapter has over 3000 words!

-==> Be the general

A general sits at his home. He's shared this particular house with his sister for a long time, keeping it for so long because they spent their childhood here. He's currently sitting in the small kitchen, which per usual is a perfect white, fully stocked, and clean as a whistle. A cup of coffee sits next to him while he has chat with the previously mentioned sister, about a certain topic the reader may be quite familiar with.

"I just, cant believe it. I spent my childhood loving the supernatural... paranormal things, conspiracy theories, and i gave up on those. Those weren't reality. Then suddenly, YEARS later and im in the military, when all of a sudden goddamn superheros appear out of nowhere to deal with a rift in the sky! Like something out of a movie, with all my luck its fucking aliens. And now they want me to lead a whole branch focusing on them! Making contact with them, phrasing it as if they were some kind of aliens!" He's still sitting, but has started bouncing his leg with pent up energy. "Jude, this is a good thing! Sure it probably feels like a slap in the face, but think of it this way; if this counts as paranormal activity, then you're finally getting to be a paranormal investigator. That has to be a good thing!" "It's not a good thing. I just want to continue with my life normally." "You've always wanted to be one! Even if its really late. Plus, all the people who claimed it was fake so confidently and consistently are probably absolutely livid! You can totally rub it in their faces!" 

"Joey, this is serious. Do you even know what all this means? What the hell even causes this kind of stuff. It's against science and what we know about the world. Superpowers and monsters just- don't fit in with the rest of reality." "But they do. They're here, today, in this real world. Thats the truth. Have you considered they aren't against science? Or maybe science is just the process of magic? Theres so many ridiculous theories you could be making here, just like you used to. Maybe they're the children of lizard aliens! Just anything that tries to make sense of this, just like those conspiracies, o-or the beginnings of studies to find out how something works. This doesn't invalidate how the world works, just expands on it. Just ugh, if this is all real, and it is, then you were right all along! And you have to be a very mature adult about it."

Jude sighs and leans back. "And I guess you'd be right." "Of course i am... now about those superheros???" "Pfft, we don't know much yet Joey." "Sighhh, worth a try." "You seriously said sigh outloud." "Yup!"

...

A young girl stands in a large gathering of people and military men, she worries for her brother who she has not seen since they were split up during the attack. Her worries deepen when the rift closes, and beasts have disappeared, but her brother has not yet been found.

Shes already called their oldest brother, Broderik Lalonde, who said he would come as fast a possible, though it would still leave her waiting a while since the club he was at is far from here. She's thinking about asking the officers if Daves been found yet for the ninth time when She spots an approaching figure, one that looks suspiciously like her missing brother.

"Dave!" She tackles him into a hug. "hey sis. so hows the little party here been?" "Dave, nows not the time for jokes." "on the contrary, it's a perfect time for jokes. i don't know why nobodies cracking jokes right now, we gotta get clowns up here. pair em up with some sick beats and get the party going, actually scratch the clowns. nobody likes clowns. we could totally use the tank for confetti though, no way that could go wrong." "Pfft, we'd have to wait for bro to dj though. And if he comes you know he's gonna chew you out for not getting here sooner, do you know how worried i was?" "why would you be worried for me? i mean- i was the one with a sword and kick ass fighting skills." "Because you're my brother. And i didn't know if you were hurt."

Dave pauses. Like he doesn't know how to process what she said. Aranea notices his worrying long pause. "Hey.. Dave are you okay? You didn't get hurt right?" "nah, you know me. those imps wouldn't even be able to do so much as touch me." Aranea sighs in relief. "Alright bro. First order of business, find our brother! Second order of business, find out how much trouble you'll be in!" "hey- hey, its not like i chose to take so long." "Too bad dear brother, you did. I'm thinking you do all my chores." "ugh im going to have to do chores?" "Yes!!!!" Despite his protests, Dave is actually looking forward to it. Not the actual chores, duh, but that his life as a Lalonde will be different. Perhaps domestic, with less traps, and with his friends right next to him, it sounds like a nice life to have. Though he still has no idea what bro will be like.

It might not be so bad. Hell it might even be great. But, no warning can keep him from panicking when bro arrives.

Oh my gog is he wearing a leather jacket???

...

carcinoGenesis [CG] joined the memo HAVE YOU GUYS LOOKED OUTSIDE /(^0o0^)\

GC: right????  
TA: karkat? what the fuck were you doing that took you so long to join?  
AD: Being serious here karkat, it does not take 4 hours to nurse a small bruise.  
AC: YEAH, WHAT THEY SAID. THE MONSTERS HAVE ALREADY DISAPPEARED AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T LEFT YOUR ROOM. (^>_<^)  
CG: WELL, FIRST OF ALL I WAS TAKING CARE OF THE FACT MY HEAD HURT LIKE I JUST GOT DRAGGED INTO HELL.  
CG: AND I WAS ALSO WATCHING THE NEWS. I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE COMING OUT.  
TA: kk that is a shitty excuse and you know it.  
JG: While it is true that we were quite worried about Karkat, and that his excuse is not of satisfactory standards, i would like it if you would refrain from swearing.  
GC: yo kanks. i gotta stop you right there before you go off on something like swearing.  
CA: yeah, lay off kankri.  
CA: let me fuckin swear.  
TA: holy shit eridan this isn't about you.  
CA: yeah, but i would like to swear goddamn it.  
CA: kankri always tries to censor me.  
GC: kankri i give you full permission to only censor eridan.  
CA: hey!!!!  
JG: Tempting offer, but i will refrain from using my friends in deals without their consent.  
JG: Such activities would be very offensive to people with tiggers concerning consent issues.  
CA: thanks kankri.  
CA: someone still appreciates me.  
JG: So Eridan, how would you liked to be used as a bargaining chip in a completely friendly deal?  
JG: Either you are the only one censored, or everyone is censored.  
JG: Either way you will be censored and as such will have to refrain from using such offensive language.  
JG: Apologies to anyone who may be offended by references to triggers associated with a lack of choices, consent issues, abuse situations, and all other possible triggers concerning the current topic.  
CA: D:  
GC: Hm.  
GC: This seems more like a perfect distraction from the fact Karkat joined us absurdly late after AC testified their was screaming from his room.  
CG: I HIT MY HEAD ON SOMETHING. IS IT REALLY *THAT* HARD TO PROCESS IN YOUR ROTTING THINKPAN?  
AC: I HAVE MORE EVIDENCE FOR THE JURY!!!!!  
GC: And what would this peice of evidence be :^?  
AT: (if he just hit his head this will be a waste of time.)  
AT: (i mean the interrogation might be fun for you.)  
AT: (but not for us, who might have stuff to do, like talk about the superheros, which i think are kinda cool.)  
AC: (OKAY BUT THIS WILL TEACH KARCAT NOT TO WORRY US AGAIN!!!)  
AC: KARKAT NEVER SPECIFIED WHAT HE HIT HIS HEAD ON!! \\(=^*0*^=)/  
GC: GASP.  
GC: That is an irrefutable peice of evidence.  
GC: The jury has decided Karkat is..  
GC: GUILTY.  
CG: EXCUSE ME WHAT.  
GC: Your punishment shall be spending an hour with eridan.  
CA: Hey!!!!  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN GUILTY OF?  
CA: why am i the punishment????  
AC: OR HE COULD JOIN ME BACK ON THE ROLEPURRAY SERPURRS! \\(^*w*^)/  
AC: mew have been on 'rolepurray serpurrs' without telling me?  
AC: PURRHAPS (=^0~0^)  
AC: can karkittys punishment be escorting me onto the rolepurray serpurrs?  
GC: Hmm. Request granted.  
GC: Spending an hour with eridan is too harsh anyway.  
CA: why do you hate me.  
CG: I'M IN HELL.  
AC: YAY!!!!  
MR: mmmm okay since thats done can we talks about the superheros??  
IB: Yeah, can we talk about the cooler more important shit.  
IB: Did you SEE those superheros? One of them had a real fucking sword.  
TT: Sure that was cool, but did you see the rad as fuck cape one of them had?  
AT: the guy who had a really long hood was also pretty cool.  
AT: must be hard to fight with that in the way.  
TA: cape dude had sickles though.  
TA: like, who would fight with sickles.  
TA: they seem like shitty weapons.  
CG: WELL HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S PRETTY FUCKING SKILLED WITH THEM.  
GC: It's kinda weird how the two red dudes and long hood guy fight with stuff you'd see in something like D&D while Mr. Fago and dark blue girl fight with guns. :^?  
TC: mista fago?  
GC: Yeah! The Fago you always drink is like grape or whatever.  
CG: AH YES. MR. FAGO THE SUPERHERO. LOOK AT HIM GO. HOW COULD ANY OF US COMPARE TO FAGO MAN WITH A GUN.  
CO: Fago man is clearly the greatest superhero.  
CO: The rest are simply his sidekicks.  
MR: lol  
TC: What if mr. fagos a sidekick for a different fago flavor?  
TC: like, the all fago flavor fago man.  
CA: Mr. fago's clearly got too nice of legs to be a sidekick.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE.  
TA: gross. you're almost as bad as eridan.  
CA: oh my god sol, what did i ever do to you?  
TA: exist.  
CA: Look at those legs tho.  
CA: Hes probably pretty strong down there if you catch my drift.  
CG: CAN WHOMEVER THE FUCK RUNS THIS MEMO BAN HIM?  
CG: I'M THIS CLOSE TO BASHING MY HEAD IN WITH MY COMPUTER SO I DON'T HAVE TO SEE THIS ANYMORE.  
CA: Woah woah karkart.  
CA: Just pointing out the obvious no need to go that far.  
AC: NEPETA CAN YOU PURREASE REIGN IN YOUR BROTHER? --(=>n<=)--  
CA: I ain't doing anything that crosses your imagery border.  
AC: all right bro just setpurr down and go back to your corner.  
CA: Come on sis, i ain't gonna do nothin.  
AC: *ac hisses* get back in there.  
CA: geez thanks alot sis.

casanovaAqueduct [CA] has ceased responding to the memo.

CG: PEACE HAS BEEN RESTORED.  
AC: ugh hes gonna be pouting for a while  
AC: *ac turns to a certain red text Maryam her eyes full of hope*  
JG: I understand your blatant worry about your brother, i will check on him so he doesn't bother you and everyone elses otherwise peaceful day.  
JG: And i guess stop him from attempting to return i presume.  
JG: Not just because it's apparently become my assigned job, but out of only the most sincere kindness of my heart and concern for him.  
AC: thanks jg!

justifiedGrievances [JG]  left the memo.

TA: wow ac, you got 2 assholes out in one.  
TA: come on eridan get out of here and we can make it three in one.  
CA: why are you so intent on hating me?  
CA: wait..  
CA: it's almost like..  
CA: you're obsessed with me.  
AC: *ac gasps*  
TA: the fuck.  
AC: *the plot twist has left ac in complete shock!!!!!*  
AC: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
AC: I WANNA SHIP IT. \\(=*^*=)/  
AC: but it doesn't have enough love. :(  
AC: we need like,  
AC: can we get a hate ship???  
AC: YES.  
AC: THAT NEEDS TO BE A THING. /(^*0*^)/  
CG: KISMESIS.  
AC: what do you mean karkitty?  
CG: LIKE,  
CG: KISMESIS.  
CG: KISS NEMESIS .  
CG: YEAH.  
AC: THATS BRILLIANT KARKAT!!!!  
AC: erisol kismesis ship!!!!!!!  
AC: *ac squeals in pure shipping delight*  
TA: excuse me the fuck  
TA: this is the stupidest idea you've ever had.  
TA: you can't just fucking ship real people.  
AC: ERISOL. \|(=*^*=)\|  
CA: i don't know sol....  
CA: you don't seem to be arguing that much.  
TA: that's because im bashing my head in right now.  
TA: all the stupidity in the air is rotting my brain  
CA: ah yes, delicious hate flirting.  
TA: you're all fucking retarded.  
AC: im gonna call jggggggg.  
TA: oh fuck no.  
TA: im fucking done with you.  
TA: fuck you.  
CA: you wish.

twinArmageddons [TA] left the memo.

AT: i think thats the first time he's gotten chased out of a memo.  
CA: hell yeah.  
CA: score for eridan.  
GC: That was...  
GC: Interesting.  
CO: I can hear him dying from my room.  
CO: Unfortunately i now have to deal with him.  
CA: lol good luck

clandestineObserver [CO]  ceased responding to the memo.

IB: Dam.  
IB: We are losing peeps fast.  
AC: YEAH.  
AC: I SHOULD PROBABLY CLOSE THE MEMO BEFORE ANYTHING WORSE HAPPENS. (^>_>^)  
AC: AND WHEN I DO YOU STILL HAVE TO COME DOWNSTAIRS KARKAT!!!!!  
GC: GOG FUCKING DAMN IT.  
CA: haha i ran out sol.  
IB: Dam, barely even got to talk about the superheros.  
TT: *Magical girls and guys.  
TT: Real life is anime now.  
TT: I can never be not excited about that.  
IB: Dam right.  
IB: Maybe one of the superheros are secretly among us, that be pretty anime like.  
IB: ...  
IB: Come on, i don't watch anime, fill in the blanks here dude.  
TT: I bet they got recruited one by one in a series of escalating scenarios, all right after one another.  
TT: If so, i bet Kurloz is the aloof, yet kind and popular student body president who becomes friends with the protagonists and stumbles into the superhero life after getting caught in the midst of a battle.  
TT: Did any of the new students who transferred to our school have dyed hair?  
TT: I bet Kurloz would know.  
IB: Why Kurloz?  
TT: Because being the student body president makes him a likely candidate.  
AT: i think if he were a superhero, or any of us were, there'd probably be a reaction from them that sticks out.  
TT: Yeah, but thats obvious to only the viewers.  
TT: Otherwise everyone would know their secret.  
AT: yeah, that is true.  
AT: anyways, im out.  


adiosToreador [AT] left the memo.

CT: I guess it's time to take my leave as well.  
CT: Though i guess i didn't really contribute much in the first place.  
AA: i don't think you contributed anything after karkat joined.  
CT: Yes, that is true.  
CT: Nonetheless, i take my leave.

caballusTechocrat [CT] left the memo.

GC: MEULIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COULD YOU JUST CLOSE THE MEMO.  
CG: I'M NOT WAITING FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE A MINI CONVERSATION BEFORE THEY ALL LEAVE.  
AC: ALRIGHT- ALRIGHT BRO!!!! \\(=0^0=)/

amusingCalico [AC] closed the memo.

...

Vriska leans on the doorway, her arms crossed, and a small smile on her lips. The light behind her is turned on, and despite being the middle of the day, it gives her a strong silhouette. An obvious and successful attempt at making her appearance needlessly dramatic. Of course, anything less just wouldn't be Vriska.

"Soooooooo, how did your _awfully_ long chat with dave go?" "well, pretty good, but not alot of that time was actually spent chatting. i actually couldn't reach him for a while." "Oh. Well how come? Don't tell me Dave got caught by a monster. Damn he better not have been hurt. Was he hurt?" "no. he just spent a while hiding, he contacted me after he got chewed out by his bro. he uh... got separated. when the attack happened." A small pause in Johns sentence caused by momentarily forgetting what he had been told to say.

Vriska sighs, "Well, that's that. I will let you know that Rose is also safe, and that no one else got caught near the monsters." "phew. that's a relief. i'm just glad we weren't in the midst of it all. it looks like something out of a cartoon, and thats cool and all, but kinda scary when someone you know is in danger." "Yeah, it is. I don't know what i'd do if Kanaya got hurt...." Vriska looks off to the side as she says so, causing John to stammer on his sentence out of concern. "w-woah woah, uh, don't think about that. think about how she's 100% okay!" "Hey, John. There's no need to get worked up about it, just.... thinking. Besides Kanaya wouldn't let some monsters get the better of her!!!! She'd kick ass even in 8 inch heels and a ball gown!!!!" "wait, does she have 8 inch heels????????" Vriska gives John a shrug, and smoothly slides away from the doorway, gesturing towards the stairs. "Probably not, but it's Kanaya so who knows. Either way, we gotta get going downstairs, you haven't finished breakfast and your foods already cold. Toooooooo bad dad won't let us have a microwave, because damned we be if we get caught so much as looking at one." John groans dramatically, "ugh, thaaaannnnkssss dad. my pancakes are gonna be soggy and cold now. :/"

The siblings descend the stairs, and John gives a frustrated remark about his situation. "ugh, i feel like it's gonna be a long week." "Hey, maybe they'll cancel school over this." School. _SCHOOL???_ No one told John about school????? Ah hell no, he'd rather just take his pancakes and go. No school for him nuh uh. Schools a mortal only zone, thank you very much. While resisting the sudden urge to curse paradox space, he responds with only a simple "haha, that'd be cool." You know what would really be cool? No school at all. 

The others are so not gonna like hearing about that.

...

" **The stage is set.  
The the superheros have debuted.  
Slight exposition given.  
The heros have been introduced to their new aspects,  
And have been introduced to the strife soon to follow.  
It is time for the story to go off the rails and on to its own plot.  
How will things change with new classpects, new families, jumping into school so soon, different selves to pretend to have always been, and those identitys to protect?  
How will they adjust to this world?  
Find out next time on..** **~~DRAGON BALL Z~~ TLANL:HP!**"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: do not format pesterlogs at night. I kept using "kankri" instead of "pesterlog" while formatting.


	6. -==> Look at this cool new chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -==> Continue the story. (Again)
> 
> You really have no control on whether or not the story continues, but you'll try to continue reading.
> 
> Of course, you can only continue reading if theres been an update. You hop onto your favorite fanfic website, Ao4, and check your list of fanfic to see that, (yes!!!!) the fanfic has updated! You rush to tell your dear friend about the update, but alas, they have already started reading it! You quickly exit out of the conversation before they can spoil the contents of the relatively short chapter.  
> You read the update.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got distracted by other projects ;_;

-==> Dave, find out this civilian shtick is going to be harder than you expected.

_oh my gog I am so going to laugh my ass off about this later_

Dave stands alongside Aranea, waiting for their brother, and all their other family friends, to decide who'll they be staying with. While their house was tragically destroyed during the attack, it quickly became clear how ecstatic their Bro was to both spend more time with whichever friend ends up housing them, and to finally have a chance to splurge on an even bigger, fancier, more obnoxious house. Probably one with expensive anime shit and swords so fancy they become impractical. They had both exchanged looks when Bro likened this situation to having an impromptu sleepover.

Dear gog, this version of Bro is not what Dave had expected. At all. Then again they are Lalondes now, and from what Dave had seen of Rose's house, a Lalonde does not spare any expense. That lady put a child's drawing in a several thousand dollar frame for fucks sake. Though that thought did make him wonder if they had anything like that in their house.

"I shudder to think of how much Bro is gonna spend..." "i wonder if i can convince him to build an amusement park inside." "Dave!" He sticks his hand out and waves it around, as if he could see it right in front of him. "Strider Park, fifty percent chance to be hit with a sword and all the rides are completely decked out in shinys so they might make you blind, but hey! You signed the papers so it ain't our responsibility." "Why Strider? Shouldn't the park be named after us?" ...... "......it's sponsored by a car company." Nice save. "Sigh. I shall never understand your irony." "i don't either. and that's the real irony." 

Bro's snickering ends up interrupting the conversation, catching Dave off guard by accident. Dave successfully keeps his cool and doesn't let his freakout show. "SO. Guess who we're staying with." Of course Dave doesn't know. But perhaps he could use his new seer powers to guess correctly? "....." No. Of course a fun side to seerhood isn't allowed. They both remain silent. "The Peixes!"

"Oh. What a lovely surprise.." "hm." Bro deadpans, "Thank you both for your enthusiastic response. Truly riveting. They will love to know their offer was so well received." The offer was not well received. From what Dave knows the peixes does not include the other guys. While he's not sure what the family name is for Jake and Roxy, he knows John had ended up as a Serket. So he'll likely have extra people watching him.

Aranea also remains unpleased by their hosts. While beggars can't be choosers, she really wishes they could. Aranea has some unresolved beef with one of the Peixes siblings, Rufioh to be exact. It was kept on the down low, and as such is known only to the reader and a few other select people. Understandably, having to be in the same house as him may cause problems. 

"So shall we be heading towards their house anytime soon Bro?" "Duh. We'll be heading there now. I'll let you know they're at the very least happy to spend more time with you two, so show some enthusiasm." Araneas rebuttal causes Dave to freeze- "Yes, and I return that sentiment. Though they seem not to share that happiness towards you staying." Because she just insulted Bro of all people. 

_but the dude's nicer here so he wouldn't do anything to her right? he isn't going to threaten anybody in a 90's jacket and covered in glitter, nope. definitely not._

"Well, im sure they'll like it even better when you handle all the house chores for them." " At least i'll be useful." "Hmph" Bro turns on his heal, and walks away motioning for the two of them to follow. "Let's get to the house first you brats." Aranea follows, leaving a stunned Dave behind until he realizes he should be following.

...

"By golly, you look like youre about to implode." Roxy flops down on the bed, patting her stomach with great satisfaction. "but if i imploee im dyin happy" She takes a sip of the alcohol filled glass she had poured the moment they were out of their mothers sight. "jakkkeeee. jakie. pls see poutintt one, ive neva eaten so munch b4. back witht the carapaces we neva had dis mich to eat!" "Roxy, while it is nice to live in a place where we wont have to ration, i think youre not actually supposed to be eating that much. Your- oh darn ours actually, but mother looked kinda worried?" Roxy waves off Jakes concern, while popping a new bottle out of her sylladex and pouring a refill into her glass. "psh, iz probably nothin. we just actin bitt strange to her due to new universe and all za wats it."

"Which is why we should be careful." Roxy takes a long sip of her martini, and then tips it towards Jake. "well i think youz gotta lighteen up a lil. itz gonna be fin, whell we get used to all tthis."

Jake takes a long sigh. "If you say so, but please lighten up on the alcohol. Mother shouldnt catch you with it." "aye aye capt bro-jak." She appropriately salutes to 'Captain' Jake.

...

"DAVE!" "Heeyy, it's my favorite Lalondes!"  
"whats up jade?" "A lot of things really! But you must have had a REALLY long day already." "yeah, no kidding" "Btw Lalondes, the Amporas might have to join us as well. Apparently a lot of things got broken thx to the monsters so they might have to come over for a day while they get someone to fix it." "oh damn. guess this really is turning into a sleepover." "WELL. Before you guys go ahead and have some nice little conversations without me, could you help me with the bags first? Sometwo people decided that they were above the labor."

...

carcinoGenesis [CG]started memo ALRIGHT LISTEN UP FUCKERS.

turntechGodhead [TG]joined the memo  
ghostlyTrickster [GT]  joined the memo

TG: first.  
GT: first!  
GT: damn it.  
CG: LISTEN UP FUCKERS, RIGHT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE RACING AROUND LIKE BRAIN DEAD WRIGGLERS WHEN WE'VE GOT IMPORTANT SHIT TO DISCUSS.  
CG: POINTS OF IMPORTANCE:  
CG: MY 'FAMILY' IS ANNOYING AS *FUCK*.  
CG: SECOND OF ALL, MY HUMAN 'FRIENDS' ARE ALL ANNOYING AS FUCK.  
CG: AND I'D BET SO ARE ALL OF YOURS.  
CG: THIRD OF ALL, I'D GO SO FAR AS TO BET THEY'RE JUST AS NOSY AS THEY ARE ANNOYING.  
CG: WHICH IS A LOT.  
CG: WHAT IM SAYING IS, WE'RE GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS KEEPING THIS WHOLE RECENTLY SUPERHEROED THING UNDER WRAPS.  
TG: yeah, so here's the problem.  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE IT'S YOU.  
CG: THE BRINGER OF GREAT NEWS AS ALWAYS STRIDER.  
TG: lalonde.  
TG: and i might be stuck in a house with potentially eight different people.  
CG: GOG FUCKING DAMN IT.  
GT: rip.

tipsyGnostic [TG]  joined the memo  
goliathsTerror [GT]  joined the memo

GT: Sorry were late chaps, we just had the grandest dinner served by our lovey mother!  
TG: yeahhh, thinkm im never eating thta much b4.  
GT: And roxy might also be drunk off her rockers.  
TG: and a bsolutely having a hungover afterwads  
CG: GOG.  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU TWO AT LEAST HAVEN'T GOTTEN YOURSELFS IN SOME SORT OF STRIDER SITUATION AS WELL.  
TG: again, it's lalonde.  
CG: OH FUCKING FINE.  
CG: I GUESS IT'LL HELP YOU GET IN CHARACTER OR WHATEVER IF I START REFERING TO YOU BY YOUR STUPID NEW NAME.  
TG: hey, don't throw around that disrespect to rose's name.  
TG: or ya know  
TG: my name 'cuz that's what it is  
TG: hellooo and mine?  
TG: he wasn't throwing that shade to what ever yours is last i checked.  
TG: you knows whatvi meant.  
TG: ands wered puropes now.  
GT: Well, to answer the question, no. So far weve been doing good keeping to ourselves with no accidents!  
CG: ALRIGHT, ATLEAST NOT EVERYONE HERE IS A FUCK UP.  
GT: how about you karkat?  
GT: doing okay being human?  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE NOT. THIS WOULD NEVER BE OKAY.  
CG: I'M IN A FUCKING ALIEN BODY  
CG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THE FUCK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM.  
CG: MUCH LESS INTERACT WITH MY, UGH, DISGUSTING,  
CG: HUMAN 'FAMILY'.  
CG: REALLY, YOU HUMANS SURE DO KNOW HOW TO MAKE THINGS UNNECESSARILY HARD FOR NO FUCKING REASON.  
GT: it's not that bad!  
GT: if you really need help doing human stuff im sure we can show you.  
TG: even with the bathroom stuff?  
GT: eww no.  
TG: what? i was talking about which products to use.  
TG: what were you thinking about john.  
TG: thinking about anything potentially attached to a human male.  
TG: are you thinking weird things john?  
TG: i feel betrayed.  
TG: i thought we were friends.  
GT: ugh, keep going like that and we will be friends!!!!!!!!  
TG: i have never felt more betrayed in my life.  
TG: i'm getting revenge for you stealing my man karkat.  
TG: we brawl at high noon. i'd advise you start writing your will.  
CG: GO FUCK YOURSELF LALONDE.  
CG: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO CONTINUE THIS POINTNESS CONVERSATION, WE NEED TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.  
CG: BEFORE I CONTINUE, DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANYTHING COMPLETLEY UNIMPORTANT TO CONTRIBE TO THIS MEMO.  
CG: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM BEFORE YOU HAVE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME.  
GT: well, i actually have something inportant to say.  
GT: we kindaaaa need to go to school.  
CG: GREAT. NOBODY NEEDED TO ACTUALLY SAY ANYTHING. I WAS ABOUT GONNA BRING THAT UP.  
CG: SO HUMANS, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS HUMAN 'SCHOOL'.  
GT: Well, its a place for human children to explore their education!  
GT: Kids go to school to learn important stuff and form life long friendships with other children! GT: Though im not actually sure what they teach, i never went to school.  
TG: same.  
CG: OH. SO ITS LIKE THE SCHOOLFEED WE HAD ON ALTERNIA BUT WITH OTHER KIDS?  
CG: OH FUCK OTHER KIDS.  
TG: yup.  
TG: atleast we won't have to deal with parents  
TG: parents just drop their kid off and bam  
TG: no need to deal with the brat for 6 something hours  
TG: besides, schools are so boring that our classmates brains will be too busy rotting to notice anything weird  
CG: WAIT SO HUMAN LUSUS'S DON'T TEACH THE GRUBS THEMSELVES?  
TG: nope, that's what homeschooling is for  
TG: ohm, johb didnt you go to school? your lived with yother kids write?  
GT: i was homeschooled. dad said school would only stifle the creativity of a 'growing young man'.  
GT: i have no idea what school is actually like.  
GT: i was just taught by my dad.  
CG: SO NONE OF US ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.  
TG: yuppppp  
CG: GREAT JUST GREAT GRAND FUCKING FANTASTIC.  
CG: THIS IS *EXACTLY* WHAT WE NEEDED.  
CG: GOG WE ARE FUCKING SCREWED.  
GT: Err, look the the bright side!  
GT:  
CG:  
GT:  
GT: whats the bright side?  
GT: *Nervously tugs at collar* Well....  
CG: THERE IS NONE.  
CG: MY STATEMENT STILL STANDS.  
TG: :////  
TG: yesh  
GT: Er, karkat, you said there was other topics to talk about?  
CG: OH YEAH.  
CG: ANYWAYS, WE'VE GOTTA HAVE A PLACE TO MEET UP AND SHIT.  
CG: YOU GUYS HAVE TO PRACTICE WITH YOUR NEW POWERS, AND THE BATTLE FIELD IS NOT A GOOD PLACE TO IMPROVISE WHEN WE'VE GOT EASILY DESTROYABLE BUILDINGS AND CURIOUS HUMANS.  
CG: WE'VE ALSO GOTTA FIND A WAY TO MAKE THE GRIST WE'VE COLLECTED USEABLE.  
TG: ohhhh actually!!!  
TG: i thinnk i cana hgeelp!  
TG: i still gott my pwowrs so i can probs straight io make a alcamawatzit to make stuff.  
CG: OH SHIT.  
CG: ACTUAL GOOD NEWS, THANKS ROXY.  
CG: FUCK WHERE WOULD WE PUT IT.  
GT: Oh! If my island is in this universe we could use it.  
GT: im pretty sure oregon has alot of ghost towns, we could use those!  
TG: ......  
TG: ........  
TG: .........  
TG: .....*ominuous silence*.......  
TG: uh, flip a coin?  
GT: lets go with Jakes idea, i don't think a ghost town would have electricity  
TG: good point  
GT: Yes! I know the island wont disappoint you guys.  
CG: WELL THAT GOT SOLVED WITH SURPRISINGLY NO BLOODSHED.  
CG: I'D SAY WE'RE OFF TO A GOOD START.  
GT: And thats the bright side!  
GT: huh. looks like there actually is a bright side.  
CG: WELL, THATS SETTLED THEN.  
CG: I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE A CONVERSATION EVERYDAY.  
CG: TO MAKE SURE WE ALL KNOW WHATS GOING AROUND US, AND TO INFORM EACH OTHER OF OUR SUPPOSED "RELATIONSHIPS".  
CG: AND JAKE WILL TRY TO FIND HIS ISLAND. WHICH CAN DOUBLE BOTH AS A BASE AND AS AN ISOLATED TRAINING GROUNDS.  
CG: AND IF A RIFT SHOWS UP AGAIN WE'LL FIGHT ASWELL I GUESS.  
CG: HUH.  
CG: THERE'S ACTUALLY SUPRISINGLY LITTLE WE CAN DO RIGHT NOW.  
TG: well, it's still the first day.  
TG: i don't need to be a seer to know things are gonna get chaotic.  
CG: YEAH WELL, THAT'S FOR FUTURE US TO HANDLE.  
GT: Well, if we have no more to discuss then well have to get going!  
GT: Our mother is calling us back down, and it would be best not to keep the lady waiting.  
GT: though im not sure if we can keep her from being suspicious of roxy.  
TG: nonono bro i got dis.  
TG: i aint THAT drunk.  
GT: *Sighs at my dear friend recently turned sister* Im sure if i can handle our mother well enough i may be able to attract most of her attention.  
TG: awww thx bro rbo  
GT: Well, looks like well be leaving chums.  
TG: see ya later  
TG: byee dave n john  
TG: n karcat

goliathsTerror [GT]  left the memo.  
tipsyGnostic [TG]  left the memo.

GT: well, im'a go too  
TG: alright  
TG: actually, can we talk later john?  
GT: uhh sure?  
TG: thanks dude

turntechGodhead [TG]left the memo.  
ghostlyTrickster [GT]  left the memo.  
carcinoGenesis [CG] closed the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that i actually know what im doing, i'll be making small edits to clean up earlier chapters. Look out for those i guess?


End file.
